These are some rough names
“Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?” The Joker from Batman (1989 film)
There’s a lot of talk about Curt Cignetti being a villain because he has the red ass about not getting a home playoff game and his seemingly pompous attitude about his Indiana Hoosiers. I don’t begrudge him feeling the way he does about his team and he’s more than welcome to have the ‘tude he has. After all, they went 11-1. It’s the best season in school history. Why not get a little hot when everyone is pissing all over your achievements? And the Google Me comment is chef’s kiss. That said, he’s cast himself in the villain role, not just in general, but for Notre Dame this weekend. And that’s about as far as his villainy will go. We’re not going to look back and count him among the greatest of ND villains. He’s the Condiment King, Kite Man or Crazy Quilt to our Batman.
That got me thinking, though. Who are the most villainous coach’s I’ve witnessed in my lifetime? Who gave me the most heartburn, headaches and hemorrhoids through my years as an Irish fan? And since I already referenced Condiment King, what Batman villain equivalent do these men embody?
Note: I’m only going to rank coaches who I actually witnessed in my life. I started watching ND in 1988, but those were early years (I was 4) and I don’t really recall much about the coaches, certainly not enough to have felt any outrage or despair from them being on the field. If you have coaches you would like to add from your lifetime, please feel free to do so in the comments.
5. Nick Lou Saban (AKA Carmine Falcone)
This man controlled college football like Falcone controlled Gotham: with an iron fist. Saban is a villain to most people outside of Tuscaloosa, what with his winning on and off the field. He also walked around with a certain stoicism that was infuriating. Only every once in a while would he burst out in anger, complaining of rat poison. It’s very much a mob boss type persona. But what makes him villainous to ND, specifically?
He went 5-0 against the Irish in his career and did it at two different stops. First, at Michigan State he exposed the deficiencies of Bob Davie for the 3 straight years. In 1998, especially, his defeat of the Irish may have hurt ND the greatest. Had the Irish won that game, they would have been undefeated heading to LA. Could they have won a National Title? (Obviously, in this parallel universe, Jarius Jackson doesn’t get injured at the end of the LSU game).
1998 is all hypothetical, but 2012 and 2020 aren’t. The Irish had real opportunities to win titles and Saban’s team crushed ND with an efficient callousness I’ve only seen from one other individual (and he’s on this list, too). Worse, he never exposed any idea that ND meant anything to him. The Irish weren’t his Super Bowl. They were just another obstacle on his path to utter domination.
4. Mark Justin Dantonio (AKA The Riddler)
Another Spartan man, Mark Dantonio was a regular fly in the ointment for the Irish. He loved to bust out trick plays and use schemes that regularly confounded ND coaches and players. He also was around for a long time. The Irish played against him 9 times as a head coach. He also was the DB coach at MSU during Saban’s time, which means he was standing on the opposite sideline 13 times against the Irish. He was involved in handing ND 8 defeats in his career. That’s an impressive resume
His most memorable moment is calling Little Giants in 2010. It was a deflating moment for me as an ND fan as we had just come off a close loss to Michigan and were now 1-2. The man smiled to the cameras afterwards, name the play and said goodnight (and apparently went off to have a heart attack after). This is a play that is regularly brought up as an iconic moment in college football. It’s of my favorite team being made a fool of. Truly villainous.
He also complained a lot about the 2013 game, in which his beloved defensive backs were regularly flagged by the refs or beat by our receivers. His complaints were always cryptic, just dancing on the edge of fine worthy without tipping over the edge (another guy will do that plenty on this list). He was even bringing it up 3 years later in advance of the 2016 game. Sounds like a sore loser to me, but one who does so with the mannerisms of your grandad.
3. Pat Regan Narduzzi (AKA The Mad Hatter)
I know people ascribe that moniker to Les Miles, but the Nard Dog deserves it, too. He’s annoying, rambles on about pointless things and is ultimately ineffective to the Nth degree when he faces off against Notre Dame. Mad Pat has regularly chided the Irish’s sweetheart deal with the ACC complaining, “You’re either play with us or you don’t play with us.” Real Louis Carrol stuff there, pal.
He’s never beaten Notre Dame as a head coach, and only one of them was close. That hasn’t stopped Narduzzi from finding every excuse in the book to explain it all away. After losing by double digits in 2015, he claimed the officials blew the game for him. He was subsequently fined by the ACC. That’s right he claimed that officials from his own conference conspired against he and his team to help Notre Dame win.
In 2023, after getting destroyed by the Irish 58-7 (his worst margin of defeat ever), he vaguely blamed the players, lamenting that he couldn’t replace the guys he had lost from the previous year. He later apologized, but his complaint about they type of players he has relates to another villainous trait of Patty No Friends. He has regularly and specifically complained about the Irish stealing recruits. In the modern age of NIL, he’s bandied about accusations that ND had used backchannels to get Kenny Pickett to transfer to the Irish. This coming from a man who has been more than willing to take on Notre Dame transfers and recruiting castoffs through the years.
The man clearly has a grudge and it’s interesting that he too has a history with Michigan State. Maybe ND doesn’t consider MSU a rival, but the men of Sparty sure do love to play the villain to the Irish. For being an insufferable and hypocritical asshole, a man who loves to hate on all things Notre Dame, Pat Narduzzi is my 3rd most villainous coach of my ND Fandom.
2. Peter Clay Carroll (AKA Ra’s Al Ghul)
I know. This one surprises me as much as you. I could have sworn this man would have been #1. He regularly beat the Irish in his 9 years at USC’s head coach. Not only did he beat ND, he crushed them. In 6 of the 9 contests he coached, the Trojans won by an average of 42-11. It was devastating to come into your favorite team’s biggest rivalry and know you were going to get blasted.
Worse was the attitude Carroll had about it. Much like Saban, the rivalry never felt like a huge deal to him. He just smiled away, patted guys on the back and played cheerleader as his team whipped the Irish up and down the field. The guy was just having fun while we were sitting in our misery, wondering if we would ever escape his iron grip on the rivalry. At one point, I wondered if we really could call it a rivalry any more. I mean, aren’t you supposed to have a pulse in a rivalry game, at least every once in a while.
Carroll’s villainy gets upped also because during that whole dominance (or a good portion of it), he and the Trojans were breaking the rules. Now, we might think those rules are stupid, but they were the rules at the time and the Trojans happily broke them. It’s not fair for the Trojans to have a Lazarus Pit while every college football team is having to take pain killers. Peter skulked away to the NFL and eventually won a Super Bowl, proving that true justice is a mirage.
And that leaves us with one villain, but first here’s a list of guys who just missed the list:
Bob Edwin Davie, Jr/Lionel Tyrone Willingham/Charlie Joseph Weis, Sr (AKA Poison Ivy): The Triumvirate of Ineptitude, these guys did more to bring Notre Dame football low than anyone on this list. They actually coached Notre Dame, which is why they get a reprieve, but isn’t the worst enemy the one from within? They left a rash on the program that hasn’t quite gone away yet.
Brian Keith Kelly (AKA Two Face): The man got the bag from LSU, so good for him. His treachery of the Irish has made the winningest coach in Notre Dame history one of its most hated.
Tom Coughlin (AKA The guy who shot the Bruce’s parents): November 20, 1993 BC. The day everyone’s childhood died a little.
And now the number one villainous coach in Notre Dame history….
1. David Lorenzo Shaw (AKA The Joker)
Shaw doesn’t have the dominant wins that Carroll has. He isn’t as creatively cantankerous as Pat Narduzzi and he doesn’t even have a background with the Spartans. What Shaw has is an unfathomable unlikability. From the start of every contest, he has the poutiest smirk on his face and it doesn’t change with any circumstance. Winning? Smirk. Losing? Smirk. Bad call? Smirk. Amazing play? Smirk. He must be the unhappiest person alive.
That smirk went along with a complaining nature in postgame pressers. To this day, I don’t think he has accepted that the Irish stopped Stanford on 4th and goal in 2012, which doesn’t bother me but it does take a little bit from that great moment. He also complained about many things after the Irish won on the 4th down pass in 2014. Meanwhile, he had no problem gloating after victories, making sure to bring the smirk with him.
He started 5-2 against the Irish and none of those losses felt more devastating than in 2015. The Irish led with less than a minute to go. One Devon Cajuste reception later and the Stanford Cardinal kicked a Field Goal to beat an ND team that was on the border of making the playoffs. That 30 second period is where Brian Van Gorder died to me.
Starting in 2018, Stanford started to go down hill and the outcomes in Notre Dame games were reflected in that downward trend. Still, Shaw smirked and visibly complained to refs even when his team was clearly outclassed and out matched. I think it’s the nature of the smirkplaining, too. It’s just so casual and effortless. Where’s the fire? Where’s the passion? David left us wanting.
What finally cements him as my pick for top villain is that in his final year – an abysmal 3-9 campaign that saw Shaw resign within an hour of the season concluding – he beat the Irish. He beat them in Notre Dame Stadium. He beat them with little to no offense. He beat them with no major playmakers. He beat ND as he always did. Smirking.
And that’s why he’s number 1. But maybe I got it wrong. Who do you think is Notre Dame’s greatest villain in the head coaching department? You don’t have to go by my criteria, either. Go all the way back to the 1800s if you want. Let’s have a little fun before the ulcers start to kick in this weekend.