Mental health really matters, and the Colts’ Braden Smith for the first time publicly, courageously disclosed his life-threatening battle with his once crippling OCD.
Per the Indianapolis Star’s Joel Erickson, Indianapolis Colts starting veteran right right tackle Braden Smith has been ‘battling for his life’—after admittedly suffering from crippling OCD that has been medically diagnosed as ‘religious scrupulosity’:
“I was physically present, but I was nowhere to be found,” Smith told the Indy Star’s Joel Erickson, which is the first time he’s publicly disclosed his late 2024 regular season absence and recent life-threatening mental health struggles.
“I did not care about playing football. I didn’t care about hanging out with my family, with my wife, with my newborn son. … I (felt like) was a month away from putting a bullet through my brain.”
. . . ‘Unlike commonly known OCD markers such as repetitive hand washing or counting objects, Smith’s compulsions were mostly internal. A bad thought entered Smith’s head, and he’d respond immediately, either through a compulsive prayer or internal statement of devotion.’
“I’ll latch onto certain pieces of the Bible, certain Scriptures, talking about blasphemy of the Holy Spirit,” Smith said. “I’d be like, ‘Oh, if I think something bad about God, I’m going to hell.’ Selling my soul to the devil-type stuff, that was a prominent theme.”
“The term for Smith’s particular type of OCD is religious scrupulosity.”
Some things are clearly bigger than football, and I’d encourage all of our viewers here to read Erickson’s full article, as my snippet here doesn’t really provide the entire context for Smith’s recent harrowing mental health struggles and internal fight for his life.
Mental health really matters, and I’d highly encourage anyone to go seek the professional help that either you or a loved one may need as soon as possible. If you are at risk, please stop here and contact 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for support.
Originally a 2018 2nd round pick of the Colts, the 29-year-old Smith has become one of the better starting right tackles in football over his 7-year NFL career, with 92 career starts.
However, he missed Indianapolis’s last 4 games, who were in the midst of the AFC wild card hunt, due to publicly undisclosed personal reasons, which were non-injury related.
Through his own personal path to recovery and self-elected treatment methods, while his OCD hasn’t been completely eliminated, it has been better controlled and reduced in severity. Smith seems to be doing better and is ready to play football again for the Colts.
To their credit, the Colts reasonably accommodated and supported Smith off-the-field to ensure he received the medical attention he desperately needed on a personal level and didn’t rush him back to playing professional football again, which aligns with their ongoing ‘Kicking the Stigma’ mental health initiative.
While Smith underwent a recent salary cap restructuring this offseason, he’s poised to become the Colts starting right tackle again with perhaps a newfound love for football:
‘Smith wanted to be back in Indianapolis, to show his teammates what it’s like when the big right tackle can play for the pure joy of the game, something he’s not sure he’s ever fully experienced,’ Erickson writes.
“I wasn’t here last year. I was physically here, but I wasn’t,” Smith said. “I want to be me again here, and I want the people around me to experience that, because I do feel like I do have something to offer the people around me.”